How To Use Sympathy To Become More Popular?
Wondering how popular guys get themselves so popular? What is their secret so that everyone appreciates them ?
You probably think that their social ease is innate… but you are wrong. Their secret is actually extremely simple: they are nice.
Today, find out how to use sympathy to become more popular!
Why is sympathy so effective in our social life?
Whether in your professional life or with your friends, you can see that the most sociable people benefit from their popularity.
When you’re social, you have more dates with girls, more friends, more opportunities.
At a party, sociable people stand out directly and everyone wants to talk to them.
Sympathy is a very effective way to become popular, because we naturally appreciate people who are nice to us.
Feeling appreciated plays a role in how much we enjoy being with the nice person .
And this pleasure is a driving force in all areas, professional or personal.
Science has even confirmed the importance of sympathy.
In the Australian Journal of Psychology, a study shows that you are more likely to keep your job because of your sympathy with others — much more than because of your technical skills and your talent!
How is it possible ?
Friendly people make other people’s work more enjoyable .
Working with them takes less effort.
If you too want to become popular and enjoy the effects of sympathy, check out these 6 tips to be more sympathetic.
How to be nicer? 6 techniques to become popular
1) Appreciate people for being appreciated yourself
It is both the simplest and the most effective advice on sympathy.
The more you like people, the more people will like you in return .
The explanation is that you are not afraid of being rejected by the person if they already like you .
By enjoying them, you take no risk because you know that it is mutual.
Men indeed suffer from a common cognitive bias.
We think our feelings are clearly reflected in our actions and words , when in fact they are not.
A study from the Universities of Manitoba and Waterloo in Canada showed that because we are afraid of being unappreciated, we hide our own feelings from others.
In short, lest people like us, we don’t show them that we like them.
The Swiss poet Henri-Frédéric Amiel declared : “ As much as I am sensitive to sympathy, I hate to ask for it. ”
This sentence illustrates the vicious circle that is taking hold . To break it, take the first step and show that you appreciate your interlocutor!
Also, subconsciously, it pleases your ego to know that it is appreciated .
2) show people you appreciate them
No one is ever sure they are appreciated .
We all try to find out if we have made a good impression on others.
In reality, it is impossible to know , and we are constantly in doubt.
That’s why people like to know that they are appreciated .
A study by Monika Moore, a psychology researcher at the University of Saint, showed that our actions are not clearly interpreted by others .
To support her hypothesis, she studied flirtation between men and women.
To see if our signs of interest were understood, she calculated the number of looks a woman must give a man so that he understands that he can come to her.
And the result is… 13 looks!
So you understand that others find it difficult to grasp our interest.
Imagine how much easier it would be to tell people directly that you appreciate them!
My advice: don’t hesitate to tell a buddy, or a buddy of buddy that you find it fun, interesting! It will not make you weak or “fragile”, on the contrary.
3) show people that you are like them
We say that opposites attract, but rather the opposite is observed.
Studies have shown that we are more likely to like someone when we see them as like us.
In Influence and Manipulation , Robert Cialdini carried out an experiment.
When a random person finds a lost wallet, they have a 40% higher chance of bringing it to the police if they find any signs in the wallet that the owner looks like them.
In other words, you are more likely to help someone who looks like you.
Common points promote contact.
For example, at a party where I didn’t know anyone, I would chat quickly with strangers but our conversations were never fun and didn’t last long.
It was when I met a girl who was an intern like me that I had a real conversation.
Our common point brought us closer because we talked about our respective experiences, our moments of hardship, our horrible bosses …
My advice: in a conversation always try to find what connects you to others to be appreciated more!
4) Learn to listen!
You do n’t necessarily have to look like the other person to like you .
However, what is important is that you know how to listen to it and understand it .
In a Guardian article, journalist Moya Sarner talks about all the benefits she has had from learning to listen.
She sought advice from specialists: the volunteers of the crisis lines.
By applying these tips, she saw an improvement in her relationships.
Here are two of his tips:
Learn to listen to the other person and focus on what the person is saying, not what you are going to respond to.
Concentrate on receiving the message, instead of anticipating your reaction.
Rephrase what the person says to be sure you understand .
Seeing your efforts to identify exactly what she is thinking will reassure the person you are talking to, and show them that you are interested in them, that you are living the moment with them, without trying to be more interesting, without trying to contradict…
5) put your interlocutor in the spotlight
When there are two of you, what’s the point of giving each other all the credit?
A great way to make someone happy is to genuinely feel their importance.
Give compliments. For that, no need to lie.
Just recognize what it has given you.
For example, when you work in pairs on a group project.
When someone gives an idea, tell them it’s very useful and that their contribution helps you.
The more you value your interlocutors, the more they will appreciate you.
My advice: be a good “manager” in life, make those around you shine without pulling the cover on you. A good example ? The following answer, in a post-match interview.
“We did the work together, it’s true that it was me who scored this goal but during this whole match, we defended well together. We made all the efforts together, and we are rewarded with this place in the final. We did the job, we tore each other apart. There were 11 man in the field. “
Samuel Umtiti recognizing the work of the whole group, without wanting to take all the light. Keep this state of mind and you will gain sympathy.
6) Be honest!
When you show things in common or when you give compliments, you need to be sincere.
Lying would destroy all your efforts.
In a study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles, a panel was asked to rate 500 adjectives according to their importance in finding someone likable.
The top-rated words weren’t witty or attractive, but the top-rated words were honesty and the ability to understand one another.
Find real compliments to give, find real commonalities.
Don’t try to be someone else to be appreciated!
My advice: the same for flirting! Don’t start listening to the favorite artist of the girl you want to seduce, just to have one more thing in common!
Become interesting, develop your own personality!
To conclude, to be nice …
Don’t worry.
The best way to be nice isn’t to try to be liked! It’s about not having this constant need for validation, it’s to do what you want without waiting for others to find it great!
I remember one of my first coaches, a pétanque champion who was afraid of not being interesting enough with girls, and who asked me if he should change sports.
The answer is obviously no! Stay yourself ! He was much nicer when he spoke passionately about pétanque than if he had tried to become someone else!
And once you know what you like, and who you are, discover others, get to know them, take a genuine interest in them!
By focusing on others and being curious, you will naturally have conversations with others and be seen as likeable.
